As per the usual trend, nothing goes smoothly in C2C land in terms of preparedness. The main leg of the challenge proves to be no exception.
We went to North Norfolk for a family break before I go away to do the English C2C. The idea being, I would get in some long walks with Rufus, take the bikes along, and generally get as fit as possible for the hard trek ahead. So Karen, Amelia and Rufus and I all booked into a lovely cottage close to the north coastline. Below is a couple of images of the idyllic cottage we stayed in:
We took Rufus on loads of lovely walks, including a long day out on Holkham Beach, which is simply amazing. Rufus loves the sea (helpful if you are persuading him to walk 200 miles to a beach!), and he met loads of friends down on Holkham beach.
Here he is with some new found friends and my daughter Amelia.
He got loads of exercise down there as well:
We also went on several long walks across the fields and along the coastal path:
Then the problems started!!
Problem 1
I was persuaded it would be a great idea to go along with Amelia and my nieces and family to experience "Extreme"! This is a high octane tree top assault course, comprising rope ladders and zip wires, all at the vertiginous height of 100ft in the air! This is all fine by me, as I do not fear heights, and sure enough, all was going swimmingly until the very end. As a treat at the end, we were given the option to be electronically hoisted 100ft into the tree canopy attached to a swing. The pure joy of being at the mercy of my daughter to pull the rip cord and release us into an 80 foot free fall to the floor, only to pick up an enormous pendulum swing about 20 feet from the ground, which went on for about 10 minutes. Oh, did I forget to tell you, I may not fear heights, but I absolutely cannot stomach swings or roller coasters. Oh pure joy!. I felt sick after the first swing, and after about 100 such swings, I was positively green!
I was so bad, I had to take anti sickness tablets for 3 days afterwards!
Problem 2
Rufus is very attached to his daddy, and follows him everywhere. now this isn't a massive problem if it is just to the toilet, or the shower, or to the shops. The problem was when he decided he wanted to follow me when I set off on my bike for a ride. The cottage we were staying in was surrounded by a picket fence, and yes, I can feel your eyes watering already folks, especially the boys! See picture of the offending article below:
Well, Rufus decided on one occasion to jump over the said fence, with a running jump. No problem, he sailed over, so job done. The problem is, on this particular occasion, he was having a nap on the lawn, and was caught by surprise by my attempted sneaky exit. So he got up quickly and attempted the vault from a standing start. All I heard was a loud YELP!! He caught his 'nads on the fence as he came down. OUCH!!
We didn't think too much about this, save for the frantic licking going on. Well, why deprive the poor thing of one of his simple pleasures!
However, all this talk of painful testicular incidents reminds me of a joke I was told in my youth all about Billy Big Balls, the over endowed and randy ram which went as follows:
A farmer had a field full of healthy sheep running a good business until a randy ram owned by the farmer next door was placed in the next field along. After a while, he noticed several of his sheep were getting pregnant, and he realised Billy was getting into his field and getting up to no good, so he builds up the dry stone wall to 6 feet to keep him out.
The next day, he jumps over the wall, and all the sheep say, " Ohhh, here comes Billy Big Balls", and he romps amongst the flock (much more politely put than the original joke).
The farmer was furious, so built the wall up to 10 feet high and made sure Billy Big Balls was placed back in his field.
The next day he jumps over the wall, and all the sheep say, " Ohhh, here comes Billy Big Balls",
and once again, he gets his wicked way.
This time, the farmer was apoplectic, and builds the wall up to 15 feet with electric wire on top and says, "now then, there's no chance tha's getting ower that yon ram"!
The next day he jumps over the wall, and all the sheep say, " Ohhh, here comes Billy Big Balls",
and once again, he gets his wicked way.
Well that was the final straw, so this time the farmer builds the wall up to 20 feet high, with metal spikes and razor wire on top. "Try gettin' ower that yon randy bugger"
The next day he jumps over the wall, and all the sheep say, " Here comes Billy ", and get on with eating their grass!!!...... OUCH!
Problem 3
Rufus was fine, apart from the excessive ball licking, for the rest of break, but on the last day, went lame in his rear left leg. As we were leaving, we decided to get home and take him straight to the vets. He was examined and the diagnosis was as follows:
1. He has got an ingrown grass seed in his foot, and needs to have an emergency operation to remove it before it grows further into his body and causes more damage. This would be followed by a full course of antibiotics and thrice daily cleansing with antiseptic washes
2. His balls. Well quite frankly, they were bloody sore, and the poor little thing needed some steroid cream to heal the wound.
We explained that he was due to start a 200 mile trek in 7 days, which was taken into consideration in the way he left the operation site. He was due to be reviewed on Wednesday, 4 days before the off, but only 2 days before I was due to depart for the north.
His first review did not go well, and he was not given the all clear to undertake this kind of challenge for fear of damaging the foot.
We went back again on the Friday morning, and he had made amazing recovery, and as long as he wore his walking boots, he as given a clean bill of health.
So, all systems go, we are on for the final challenge, and off we set.........
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